Time really does fly … A 3 year reflection

What started as a crazy new adventure has become normal

Three years ago, I was getting ready to leave my childhood home and board a one way flight to Amsterdam. As I was saying goodbye to my dog Wallie, I started crying hysterically. I told her that she better still be alive when I move back to the US in three years.

Well, those three years have passed and I am not moving back anytime soon. And thankfully Wallie is still alive!

2015 — Year One: New & Exciting

My first year here was full of new experiences. A new country, culture, friends, language, skills, and adventures. I learned how to work in an extremely diverse environment. I learn something new from my colleagues every single day and it’s still my favorite aspect of my job today. I found a second family with my friends outside of work. Everyone was so open, helpful, and welcoming that it really impacted and made my first year.

2016 — Year Two: Stabilizing

My second year here was more about settling in. I knew what was going on at work and was passionate about the topic I was working on. I grew closer and became more comfortable with my friends. I went on one of the best trips of my life to Switzerland with three friends. I moved apartments after a really crappy situation with my landlord and I had my first taste of trying to buy an apartment in Amsterdam.

2017 — Year Three: Personal Growth

For my third year, I took a lot of time to focus on myself. At the end of my second year, I received my first “meets performance standards” review at work. For my 7 other reviews, I received a“exceeds performance standards”. Meets performance standards is a perfectly acceptable review, but for some reason, I took this news very hard. I felt like I had failed. I spoke with my manager at the time, Jonathan Stephens, and he set me on a path of self reflection and awareness. I discovered what motivates me, what my personality traits are and how to work with other personalities, what I get stressed about and how to handle it. I also learned that I need to get out of my comfort zone more often because it’s the best time for me to learn about myself. And finally, I need to be more openminded when I have already decided on something or I don’t agree.

This year there were three experiences that helped my personal growth: traveling to Japan, buying an apartment, picking up a new hobby.

Japan

Ever since taking Japanese for a year in high school, I’ve wanted to travel to Japan. Two of my friends, Emma and Kasper, were traveling in Asia for three months, so my friend Max and I decided to meet them in Japan. We all visited Tokyo and Mt Fuji together. Then I went on my own to Osaka and Kyoto. Max and I then reunited in Tokyo to go to Tokyo DisneySea.

After booking the trip, I was a bit terrified of going because I don’t speak the language. I was afraid that Japan would use peanuts in many of their dishes and I would die from not being able to ask what was in the food. Turns out, this was actually extremely easy! Before I went on the trip, I had one of my Japanese colleagues help me with the translation on how to ask if there were nuts in the food. I didn’t have one problem!

I was also concerned about traveling on my own and getting lost. Turns out the Japanese subway and train system is exceptionally efficient. Every city uses the same types of train/subway maps and ticketing machines. You learn how to navigate one and you are good to go! It really amazed me because if you look at the US, every city has their own unique ticketing system and map. In New York City alone, you have to learn the different systems between the Amtrak, LIRR, NJ transit, Subway, Path, and Metro North. The Japanese transit system is set up to make this experience seamless.

My friends on this trip helped push me way outside of my comfort zone and I believe that’s why I loved it. We went to an onsen (hot spring) in Mt. Fuji and you have to be naked the whole time. I ate so many foods that I would’ve never thought I would touch 3 years ago: horse, cow tongue, and chicken cartilage to name a few.

For the days that I was on my own, I planned out exactly what I wanted to see and do. For the first five days, Emma planned everything so I didn’t have to worry about what we were doing. But for the days I was by myself, I spent a lot of time and effort researching exactly what I wanted to do. It is a lot of work but it really pays off in the end. What was really cool about traveling by yourself though is that you don’t have to stick to the schedule you make. I was on my way to some touristy temple in Kyoto and took the wrong bus by accident. I ended up in a neighborhood that was filled with all of these little temples. It was such a happy accident and one of my favorite parts of the trip.

Overall, Japan was an absolutely amazing experience. It is a beautiful and efficient country; my friends and I made a lot of new memories together; and I learned traveling alone isn’t so scary and very liberating.

Apartment

I finally bought an apartment this year after being outbid more than 12 times on other apartments. It was an extremely fun and heart breaking process. The agent I worked with was Mark Puik. I highly highly recommend him if you are looking to buy in Amsterdam. He really held my hand through the entire process because it is scary! Especially in a language you don’t understand.

This was my first major purchase and investment. It is pretty common here in Amsterdam, and especially at Booking.com, for people to buy an apartment after they’ve lived here for more than a year. The housing market is currently insane. People are overbidding by more than 20% and sellers are making enormous profits. Unlike the US, you don’t have to put any money down for the apartment and the interest rates are extremely low. The monthly cost of your mortgage ends up being cheaper than renting. After I realized I am not leaving Amsterdam any time soon, it made sense for me to buy.

I bought the apartment at the end of August and received the keys on October 16th. That was one day after getting back from Japan. I was able to move into the apartment right away but there were a couple of things that I wanted to change. The main things I wanted to do was transform the living room wall into a brick wall, paint the entire apartment white, install a different sink in the bathroom, replace the electrical box, and change the bedroom doors. I hired a contractor and he assured me that all of this would be done before I moved into the apartment in two weeks.

Needless to say, things didn’t go according to plan. The only thing that was complete in those two weeks was the painting. The brick was exposed, but every time you touch the wall pieces of it fall out and gets dust everywhere. To this day, the new sink and the bedroom doors are still unfinished. For the electrical box, the contractor asked me for €700 in advanced so he could purchase it but then he never did.

So I was furious. I ended up firing him and fighting with his company to give me back €1000: €700 for the fuse box and €300 for unfinished work. I should have probably asked for more since I needed to hire someone else to finish the job, but I was so proud of myself for getting something back.

During the first couple of weeks, I really regretted my decision of buying the apartment. Why did I do this? This is such a big commitment! This isn’t worth it. But I was saying all of these things to myself while I was having issues with the contractor. Now that I have been living in the apartment and have made it my own, it feels a lot more like home. I learned to be patient during the whole process and how to manage my stress. I wanted everything to be done immediately and perfectly. But I’ve learned that perfection is unattainable.

Music Production

Last year when I moved to my second rental apartment in Amsterdam, I was without internet for 45 days. So I bought a (piano) keyboard. As a child, I took piano lessons for at least 8 years. I always loved playing but I hated playing classical music. When I turned 13, I told my parents I was done with the piano. But my favorite part of playing the piano as a kid was trying to figure out the melodies of songs on the piano and then writing the sheet music.

This year, I rediscovered that love. This time it’s much easier to figure out melodies of songs. There is YouTube and multiple apps that teach you how to play popular songs. Since living in Amsterdam, my love for dance music has also grown. So I decided to try and make my own music.

I began by taking an online music theory class through Skillshare. For my birthday, my colleague, Alex Badarin, bought me a MasterClass pass for the Deadmau5 music production class. I learned a lot from these online classes but wanted some in person help as well. Over the summer, I took an 8 week music production course. It was a blast and a new creative outlet for me.

I find a lot of similarities between coding/designing and creating music. What I love about coding/designing is that it is creative problem solving. I find the same with music. It has also made me listen to music with a new perspective. When I go to festivals and concerts now, I try to analyze how the DJ builds his set and how the crowd reacts. I’ve taken an old hobby and have made it new again. Unfortunately, I haven’t had time to create anything new or continue classes since they ended in August because of my Japan trip and dealing with my new house. But one of my goals for 2018 is to get back into it!

You can check out some of the stuff I made on SoundCloud.

So whats in store for year four?

The possibilities are endless! I set a couple of 2018 goals.

I want to start reading more. I absolutely hate starting a new book, but I find once I am invested, I love to read. I need to get over that initial barrier. I think that it will also improve my vocabulary and writing skills.

I want to get better and feel more comfortable mentoring others. I’ve been at my current job now for three years. That’s the longest time I’ve held a job. I have learned a lot in those three years and now I want to be able to help the newer designers.

I want to start keeping a journal every day again. From 2013–2016, I kept a journal every day. It’s amazing to reread the entries and feel like they are fresh memories. I’ve missed that this year and only stopped doing it out of laziness.

I want to get better at delegating and relying on others. My mother ingrained the saying “If you want something done right, do it yourself” in my head, but I want to reverse this way of thinking. Don’t do it yourself, work with others to collaborate on a better solution and delegate the tasks.

And lastly, I want to get out of my comfort zone as much as possible. For me, it’s the best way to test my own limits and learn more about myself. I am excited to see what 2018 brings!

“We spend so much time being afraid of failure and rejection, but regret is the thing we should fear the most. Failure is an answer. Rejection is an answer. Regret is the eternal question you will never have the answer to. What if? If only? I wonder what would have? You will never never know and it will haunt you for the rest of your days”

— Trevor Noah, Born A Crime